My Grandson Survived a Turbulent Life Until He Encountered Fentanyl

The mysteries of addiction leave us baffled before they kill

There are numerous examples of human experience that mystify us. Of these, I contend that the least understood is the process of addiction.

Ironically, we know an amazing amount about addiction starting with a clear and indisputable definition. A world-renowned expert on the subject whose work I admire has even pinpointed a root cause for addiction — not without some dispute or controversy.

Despite such insights, it seems the process of intervention, mediation and cure are rarely any closer after months of work than at the beginning. Let me admit to overgeneralizing while allowing some leeway for my central thesis.

This article is about death and centered on a young man who shouldn’t have died. Cause of death: Addiction. In this regard, my definition of addiction will be death by chapters or instalments, or stages.

Josh was my eldest grandson (24). From the beginning of his addiction to the end, death walked beside him, subtly enticing him closer to the final tragedy; we just never saw the pattern.

Getting rational here: Dr. Gabor Mate, foremost authority on addiction, defines addiction as a behavior or activity that an individual continues to repeat despite negative consequences and which the addict is unable to stop. This definition applies equally to addiction to alcohol, drugs, gambling, sexual compulsion, uncontrolled shopping or just about any behavior pushed to extreme limits.

There is a tenet in Alcoholics Anonymous: One drink is too much, 100 not enough.

In my reading about addiction, I had heard of “instant addicts” –- one drink or one cannabis joint or one snort of cocaine — and this person was instantly hooked. I’m not sure I bought it but was told that’s the way Josh functioned.

As time went on, I heard about the vehicles Josh destroyed and the time spent in local jail cells as well as close calls in accidents and the concerns of his friends and family. There was at least one life-threatening overdose. But all of that is just a thin sliver of his personality. There is a Facebook site dedicated to Josh and it overflows with love from his friends and family. It paints a picture of a young man who reached out and comforted his friends and was at their side when they needed him. He cared for his brother and most likely never had a mean thing to say about anyone. I dwell on these points to assure you that if you had, in your mind, a stereotypical picture of an addict, you can consign it to the bullshit bin.

Dr. Mate has another revelation worth noting. Addiction stems from trauma, usually in early childhood. None of us can relate to this. My son, Josh’s father, today is a hollow man living in agony for the son he loved and whose company he cherished. Josh’s mother lives in daily pain and Josh’s brother still can’t comprehend the loss of his best friend. None of us knows how to deal with his death two years ago.

‘Don’t ask about the addiction; ask about the pain.’

At Josh’s memorial, one of his friends commented: “It just seemed like he didn’t want to live.”

A more accurate scenario can be found in Dr. Mate’s work. Early in his career, he ruffled feathers of the Canadian legal and medical establishments with a declaration that addiction shouldn’t be punished; it should be treated. More pointedly: “Addiction is about pain. Don’t ask about the addiction; ask about the pain.”

On the day Josh died, it appears to me that he died twice. He overdosed on fentanyl but was brought back from death at the hospital. When released, he went home and again took an overload of fentanyl.

I’ve come to believe in the “near death” experience. Did Josh see that light at the end of the tunnel and feel the warmth of the angels we’ve heard about? Did he go home to buy passage to the serene and beautiful place he had witnessed? It’s certainly beyond me to determine and I wish I knew how to do that.

My belief is that cocaine or other drugs may kill you but that fentanyl will kill you.

Fentanyl is classed as an opioid. It is produced mainly in China, then funneled through Mexico and, to a lesser extent, Canada. The drug easily ranks as the deadliest illicit substance available to humans although pharmaceutical conglomerates have apparently produced far more powerful substances.

China’s unregulated labs supply Mexico because the country has evolved into a giant distribution mechanism run by criminal cartels. The largest of these is the Jalisco New Generation Cartel currently engaged in numerous turf wars for domination of the drug trade.

I contend that there is one solution that would go a long way to shutting down the global death machine: For production, transportation, distribution, profit-taking, solicitation or encouragement of use, the minimum sentence on conviction: Death.

Those who know me will realize this is a radical departure from my personal makeup. I am socialist by nature and pacifist. But the preservation and salvation of our grandsons and granddaughters takes precedence. If this is anger or vengeance, I don’t apologize.